THE BEAUTY OF DISCIPLINE

Last week I attended a valuable workshop presented by a local Marriageand Family Therapist, Stacy Guisse.  Although her title:  “Exploration Before Explanation”:  The Imaginal Approach & Intermodal Therapy Techniques forEngaging with Youth & Families, was intended for other therapists, the experience was personal and transformative.   

One of the gems I heard from Stacy was “the beauty of discipline.”  It was a perspective that released knots of tightness in my body.  As a society we tend to identify discipline with punishment—what do you feel when you remember seeing students (or yourself) sent to the school administrator in charge of discipline?  Dictionary definitions include “a systematic method to obtain obedience” and “a state of order based on submission to rules and authority”—my inner teen/rebel really loves that!  (Not!!)  No wonder we procrastinate about getting organized and “disciplined”.  Yet we know we need order in our lives to fully express ourselves in the world and to meet our daily needs.  Another definition to be found is “training that produces moral or mental improvement.”  Even that suggests that we are somehow lacking and must be improved, but it is getting closer to the view I want to adopt.
 
It is known that adults establish their ability to manage themselves from the modeling and actions of their parents in setting boundaries and responding to the need for re-direction of behavior.  Children who have the benefit of conscious parenting are way ahead in self-discipline as
adults, but that is another discussion.

If we look at self-discipline as coming from the word “disciple” we can understand that self-discipline is following, honoring, trusting, believing in and learning from oneself.  So to formulate a consistent intention and follow the form it creates is not only a way to nurture oneself, but the path to transformation.  It is an axiom in the healing arts that in order to bring about change and expansion for a person, the one assisting must first meet the person where they are—to honor them as they are, to trust that a part of them knows what they need, to believe in their capacity to transform, and to engage in a mutual journey of observing and learning together.  As individuals and as humanity we are in a time of unprecedented transformation.  We are often aware that even when it seems we have an instant, significant change in our way of being, we have been preparing and prepared for a long time—even lifetimes.

A favorite teacher of mine, Aleya Dao, in an interview shared a practice that she credits as the beginning of her success in serving more and more people.  She scheduled an appointment every week with herself to nurture herself using all the skills she shared with others.  This to me is a prime example of self-discipline.  What if you began to savor the opportunity to see what consistent practices would create health, peace, understanding, abundance (including money), joy and love?  What if you followed your chosen schedule or practice or attitude with relish?  What if you saw the beauty in your self-discipline?  I, for one, am going to try that on for size.

I would love to see your thoughts about this.  Go to my Facebook page, Kathryn Brewer, MFT, LEP to leave comments

OUR EXPANDING IDENTITIES

 We have practice with changing our identities.  The child ballerina can move into the aspiring nurse, into the inspiring teacher, into the mother, into the grandmother world traveler, and into the wise crone.  A young soccer player puts away his shin guards, becomes the editor of the school newspaper, the inventor, a father, a global activist, and a wise mentor (either gender in any role).  We find comfort and stability in our identities.  What has been your identity journey?  Where are you now in who you tell yourself you are?  Who does the world tell you to be?

I recently entered the Transformational Author Contest, stimulating an acknowledgment within myself that I accept the identity of being an author, and one who has a message to share.  It was not automatic.  I had to vanquish all the Ego gremlins that said I was not worthy, not good enough, not experienced enough—you know the battle.  What won the battle for me was

1.       I took time to quiet my mind (I tell it to be cradled in Universal Mind and breathe in six directions—up, down, front, back, sides)

2.        Focus in my heart (I use HeartMath)

3.       Find my deepest knowing (I visualize my Core Column of Light just in front of and attached to my spine, extending into the earth’s center and up to Source)

Then I was clear that sharing words that teach or inspire is part of who I am.    In the old perspective that would be enough.  But there is a difference in these times.

Have you noticed that you sometimes feel blind-sided by what is happening in your life and those close to you?  Are you feeling more confusion and frustration when old methods of organizing and decision-making aren’t working?  My lists used to insure that I would get everything important done—now they often aren’t worth the scrap paper they’re written on.  Other organizing systems fall short as well.   

 It is accepted by many of our world’s finest minds that we are in a time of unparalleled change—of the very earth we live on and in all our society’s systems.  Many concerned with human consciousness and the energetic matrix surrounding us agree that the foundation we have used to stabilize us and provide direction for our lives is shifting so much that we feel lost.  Old methods of centering and “getting back to ourselves” don’t do the job anymore.  Who are we now?

Anodea Judith, in her book, Waking the Global Heart:  Humanity's Rite of Passage from the Love of Power to the Power of Love, writes that initiations of change.."were designed to break down the smaller ego-self in order to embrace a larger web of life.  From this wider perspective, one's own life can then take on deeper meaning and purpose, one that is in alignment--and therefore in service-- to the greater whole.''  Only when I expand my identity into the multidimensional Universe, and find the unlabeled Being at my center do I move forward with calm.  Only when my basic identity is one who serves the wider evolution of humanity, the planet and the Cosmos do I trust my individual well-being and know what action to take in the moment.  We can help one another realize and practice this change, and ask not only who I really am, but who am I expecting you to be—and then let go and feel who you really are.

For further information, visit www.kathrynbrewer.com/conscious-evolution, especially the links at the bottom of the page.  For scientific discussion go to BOOK at the top of the page and then to Parent/Teacher Supplement.        

INDEPENDENCE DAY

I can thank a friend for stimulating discomfort intense enough for me to take the time and create the intent to heal and find my deeper Self again.  Sometimes my deepest and most cherished, but outmoded, beliefs require not-so-gentle nudges from Source in the form of important people in my life.  Even though I may be conscious of that as it is happening, it takes some healing and resolution before I can really feel gratitude.  That gratitude is food for my inner independence.  Some of the realizations that I found from “coming to my knees” in earnest desire for change follow:         

I allow my evolution.  I release pushing, seeking, efforting, trying, attached intending, expectations, and impatience.  I allow myself to change the interaction with my Ego and therefore with others.  I slow down breath, thought, energy flow, and allow myself to move into the deep knowing space in my center that holds joy, humility, compassion for myself, others and the planet, and the detachment from judgment about what I experience.  I open my heart to myself and to all that is, of which I am an inseparable part.   I know these words may seem like parroting of ancient and current teachings, but they are coming from my heart and my inner experience.  That is what Independence Day is to me now:  to be independent of beliefs, feelings, expectations that originate outside of myself in the media, in decades of acculturation, from honored mentors and from life experiences (past and present).  I know the old stories will claim my attention again, but every time I allow this experience of inner freedom, I make neuronal, cellular and even DNA paths for lasting change of my response to life.  As Barbara Marx Hubbard would say, I more fully incarnate my Universal Self, my original vibration of Being, as active in my human experience.  Happy Independence Day!

The 4 P's of New Motherhood: Patience, Presence, Possibilities, & Pause

Close friends of mine just had a baby—bringing forth an amazing new Being on this planet.  This picture of Everly captures the joy of beginning the journey of life on Earth.  Those of us who are aware of the energetic changes since 12/21-23/12, and who are working toward a new society of Oneness and abundance for all are both the infant new humanity, and the mother of that infant.  It’s been over six months since Birth2012, and we are now at the stage where a mother’s hormones are beginning to come back into balance, and the feelings of one’s world being turned upside down are settling into acceptance.  The analogy offers some suggestions for how best to navigate this time in our collective and personal lives.
PATIENCE:  There is a Rune (Jera/Harvest) about which Ralph Blum says, “There is no way to push the river; equally you cannot hasten the harvest.  Be mindful that patience is essential for the recognition of your own process, which in its season leads to the harvest of the self.”  There is another saying I have on my wall:  Patience in the present, Faith in the future, Joy in the doing.  We are embodying the new energies that are now available and restructuring our whole human being.  In transformation the energy always comes first, then a shift in consciousness/belief, and then shifts in the outer world.  Without patience we cannot hold the trust necessary to create changes we desire.  
PRESENCE:    A new parent can experience an absorption and connection with their child beyond any they have experienced before.  They are totally present with this new Being, and all other concerns or projects or thoughts are nonexistent for those moments.  The guidance that the infant receives and the response to its needs set the template for that Being’s life. We are now setting the template for the future of humanity.  One of the greatest factors that damages a child of an alcoholic or drug addicted mother is the lack of emotional presence.  The child feels abandoned (our greatest fear) even when the parent is physically present, and the brain neurons that produce attachment and bonding are not developed.  In the extreme this creates what is labeled Reactive Attachment Disorder.  Our newly developing Universal Selves need as much of our focused attention as we can muster.  Constantly asking ourselves what we really need, what message our life experience is giving us now, and what attitudes to hold that would sustain and nurture our new Being will make the evolutionary journey much gentler, and increase the unfolding of our possibilities.
POSSIBILITIES:  A new infant brings such joy, and a part of that is because we are opened to touching in to the realm of unlimited possibility.  We dream of all that could be in the future for this child and therefore in our lives as well.  The last Rune (Odin/The Unknowable) asks, “For how can you exercise control over what is not yet in form?  And what is coming to be can never arise from the known.”  Envision beyond what has been present.  Understand that in each moment all possibilities are present; that whatever your mind believes limits the possibilities unless your mind moves into knowing that it does not know.  We are now creating from the purest energy of our Being if we can move beyond the fear of the unknown, pause and open to all possibilities.
PAUSE:  A new parent can be exhausted.  Rest and recharging are essential whenever there is a moment free of the demands of the dependent child.  Thomas Huebl (German mystic) calls it the Competency of Silence and sees it as one of the two keys to authentic awakening and evolution.  A practice(s) that allows you to enter your stillpoint (the place beyond mental knowing into universal knowing), your Essence, and connect with Source and the life force is imperative to bring the “juice” and nurturing necessary for the journey toward becoming our transformed, transmuted, possible Universal Self.

This Time We Live

Mayan Ruins in Belize: Face From the Past

It is exciting, gratifying, wonderful, amazing to be alive at this time in history, but it is also very difficult. The schedules, practices, organization, “givens,” and old reliable ways of navigating life no longer work. We know how we want our interactions, our work, our moment to moment life to feel and we have moments of realizing that, but so often we know how it could be, and it just doesn’t get there. There is a drive in all of us, and some of us are now consciously feeling it. This drive is to move to what is better, more satisfying, more meaningful. I have always thought of it as being somewhat “Type A” and labeled it as slightly negative. I am discovering that is not true.

Many of today’s leading-edge thinkers, mystics and sages are talking about the unprecedented change that is to happen about 12/21/2011. The great majority agree that it is not the end of the world, but the end of society as we know it—that is, it will be if we are to survive as a species. There are many indicators that this is so—the state of the world economy, the political unrest throughout the world even in places that had been controlled to eliminate that, the atmospheric and weather changes, the dwindling pool of natural resources, the disillusionment of our youth and the rise of gangs, and the toxins in our air, water and food and in the earth itself.

From throughout the world, the wisest of us are seeing a similar solution. For the first time in history we understand that our thoughts/energy create. We know that groups of us joined together with a focused intent affect outcomes. We know that nature promotes those organisms that cooperate, and that nature inherently wants to seek balance. We know that evolution has happened in leaps and spurts throughout history, beginning with the Big Bang. We know deep in our core that we can make a difference in ourselves and through that, in our planet. But how?

It must begin with becoming acutely aware in every moment of the effect of what we think and do on others and the environment. We must find our individual way of connecting to the Essence, God part, Universal Intelligence of our inner being and coming to the place where we can choose to allow that part to manage our ego—not destroy our ego. It is through our Local, Individual, Ego Self that we make things happen in the world. The source of what those things will be must now come from our Essence, Higher Self, Divine Field, Universal Intelligence, God Within or whatever words make that real for you. I know these are just words until you have the experience of being quiet enough, long enough, with enough emotional clearing to truly feel your Essence. There are so many “issues” that we use to veil that experience. Perhaps the most potent is our fear of the power we have if we are deeply connected to our Universal Self, and our lack of experience with using it.

That drive I mentioned at first: Barbara Marx Hubbard and others define it as the drive of evolution itself held within us. Back in the 1980’s I read a paper written by a Methodist Minister who posed the question “Is God Evolving?” It was a very controversial topic at the time. More and more thinkers are answering “Yes” to that question, and God, Divine Source is doing it through each of us; but in order for us to realize what could be, we must co-create together. More on that to come.

Overcoming Overwhelm with Energy Medicine

Dona Eden showing her

Energy Medicine Exercises:

COOK'S HOOK UP

ZIP UP

Overwhelm is everywhere: whether in Rwanda, Australia, or here, and those of us who have more highly tuned neurological and energy systems are especially good at feeling it (do the checklist below to see if you might be what is called an empath). But I have been noticing that I actually feel more overwhelmed here in the U.S. than in Africa where the lack of creature comforts causes almost constant physical stress. There are many reasons for greater overwhelm here including my partial shift back into the mind-set of accomplishment and deadlines. However, I remember that in Rwanda I expected to have difficult energies around me, and I did my favorite Energy Medicine exercises to protect and realign my energy frequently during the day and evening. We taught the Project LIGHT students Dona Eden’s Energy Medicine Daily Routine and did it every morning. They looked forward to it and reminded us if we forgot. I’ve picked two techniques that are easy and effective in bringing that scattered, ready to scream, feeling back to relief and focus: Cook’s Hook Up and Zip Up.

For all Energy Medicine exercises, breathe slowly in your nose and out your mouth. Step One on the Zip Up card shows the “thump” that is always to be done first, as it assists our primary energy meridians (the ones used in acupuncture) to run in the correct direction (they can go backwards after stress). That allows all the other exercises to do what they are intended to do.

1. To find the spot to thump, touch the collarbone points that protrude the most, close to the center, then move your fingers below the bone and slightly further apart to find the indentations or hollows on both sides at the top of breastbone. Tap vigorously for at least five slow breaths.

2. For Cook’s Hook Up cross your left ankle over your right. Then extend your left hand straight in front with your palm turned out to the side and cross your right hand over your left wrist with your palm facing the left palm. Clasp your fingers, and then bend your fist down and under and up to your chest. Take four slow breaths and then release your hands downward with a flourish and a strong exhale. This exercise is intended to focus your mind, bring out your best skills, and calm overwhelm.

3. For Zip Up stand up and drop both hands straight down in front of you, close together and with palms facing your body, about one or two inches from your body. Take a deep breath in as you slowly and carefully bring your slightly cupped hands up the front of your body to just below your lower lip. Twist your fingers as if you are turning a key in a lock at your lip. Continue moving your hands up, joyfully spreading them into the sky. Circle your hands back down and repeat at least three times. This integrates and seals in your energy system as you are tracing the Central Meridian. It has been shown to protect a person from negative thoughts and energies sent from others, and can help you distance yourself from the chaotic energy in public places.

As with all methods that are intended to realign and change habits, the more often and consistently you do these exercises, the greater the effect. I have been known to duck into the Ladies’ Room for a quick Zip Up after an encounter with disagreeable energy. I can’t think of a time when it hasn’t helped me even though the energy outside didn’t change.

I promised you a checklist to see if you might call yourself an empath, so here it is. You might also want to check out the classes being offered at QuietStar about how to manage and care for a more sensitive body-mind-energy system at quietstar.com.

“ARE YOU AN EMPATH?” Created by Elaina Geltner and Robin Klickstein

1. Does it seem like you feel everyone else’s “stuff”?
2. Do world events (especially tragedies) send you into a tailspin?
3. Do you often wonder where “your” feelings are coming from?
4. Not sure about: “What’s mine, what isn’t mine.
5. Do your feelings make no sense sometimes? (Am I crazy or am I an Empath?)
6. Do you feel more than other people?
7. Do family gatherings leave you feeling overwhelmed and discombobulated?
8. Do you find yourself spaced-out after being in a crowded store or big event?
9. Do people tell you that you are too sensitive?
10. Do you sometimes have food cravings or impulses to behave strangely that don’t seem connected to what you are experiencing?

If you answered Yes to more than 5, it’s pretty likely you are an empath.

Stay tuned for more musings about the Rwanda experience and more insights about the lessons it presented to me, and those for all of us on the planet.